Sunday, July 17, 2011

I am SOOOO Bored

And even if I were to go out and about I'd still be bored.  I've been trying to deal with it with Star Trek: The Next Generation, but alas, that isn't working very well.  I could watch my JELL-O solidify in my fridge but that wouldn't be very exciting either, nor would it be good for the food in the fridge.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Life Can Sometimes Suck A Lot

I've been seeing a lady that I originally hoped would lead to a romantic relationship but I'm afraid it just won't happen.  It's not that she's not interested, she is, and I like her, too.  But she drains me.  It could be that she suffers from depression as well but I don't think that's the reason.  In any case, after I see her I end up having an anxiety attack, one that lasts at least a day.   It's not always debilitating, but it's certainly enough that I don't like how I feel.  It tends to make me want to sleep and eat too much.  I need to break up with her and I don't feel like it's appropriate to do it any way other than face to face.  I may not like it, but I'm that kind of a guy.

Then there's my19 year old daughter.  She's been living with me since March of last year and I have adored having her with me.  She left on vacation back at the end of June and today she called me saying she isn't coming home.  I understand her reasons and do not fault her at all for her decision and under the circumstances I think it's the best thing.  But I wasn't included in the discussion of the decision and it hurts.  I feel rejected and cast aside.

It's a bad day for me and I just feel so drained and want to go back to sleep after a two hour nap already.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Anxiety Attack

I had a bit of an anxiety attack today.  Nothing major, but it made me cut short a visit with a friend.  I've been getting out of my comfort zone for a bit and it's just been building up until today the attack hit.  A nap took care of it, at least most of it.  I'm still feeling a bit of anxiety, but it's livable.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Feeling Really Down

I'm feeling really down right now.  The car is fixed but it cost about twice what I originally thought (the water pump needed replacement as well as the alternator.)  It's nice to get around and everything, but at the same time I'm feeling really lonely at the moment.  My sister doesn't feel like doing anything lately and I really don't have any local friends I can just ask to go out with.